Mum guilt is a common and normal experience for many mothers. If you’re a mum, you’ve probably felt it at some point – that nagging feeling that you’re not doing enough, that you’re not a good enough mother, or that you can’t possibly balance everything on your plate. But let’s face it, ladies – we’re superheroes! We can do anything! So let’s put on our capes, grab a glass of wine, and laugh in the face of mum guilt. After all, if we’re not having fun, what’s the point? So let’s raise a toast to all the amazing mothers out there and remember: we’ve got this!
What is mum guilt?
Mum guilt is a term used to describe the feelings of guilt and inadequacy that many mothers experience. This can come from a variety of sources, such as feeling like they are not doing enough for their children, not being a good enough mother, or not being able to balance their own needs with the needs of their children. It can also be triggered by societal expectations and comparisons to other mothers. Ultimately, mum guilt is a common and normal experience for many mothers, and it is important for mothers to be kind to themselves and seek support if they need it.
What can we do about it?
Mum guilt is a common and normal experience for many mothers. It can be triggered by a variety of factors, such as feeling like you are not doing enough for your children, not being a good enough mother, or not being able to balance your own needs with the needs of your children.
Acknowledge and identify the sources
It is normal to feel guilty or inadequate at times, and it is important to recognise and accept these feelings. Instead of beating yourself up, try to be compassionate and understanding with yourself. Sit down and think to yourself. Analyse the guilt you are feeling and try to identify the sources.
This can be a challenging process, but it can help you better understand why you are feeling guilty and how to move past it.
One potential source of mum guilt is childhood experiences. For example, if you grew up with a critical or perfectionistic parent, you may have internalized the belief that you need to be perfect in order to be loved or accepted. This belief can be transferred to your role as a mother, causing you to feel guilty when you are unable to meet unrealistic standards.
Another source of mum guilt can be societal expectations and comparisons to other mothers. In today’s world, there is a lot of pressure on mothers to be perfect and do it all. But this is simply not possible, and it is important to let go of these unrealistic expectations.
Clear up your trusted circle and lean on them
Are you surrounded by people who have opinions and values that do not align with your own? Have a circle of trust overhaul. The support and advice you receive from those around you can have a massive impact on your well-being and your ability to cope with mum guilt. When you have a good trusted group around you; even things like asking for help and support become so much easier.
Avoid surrounding yourself with people who are critical, perfectionistic, or constantly comparing themselves to others, as this can exacerbate feelings of guilt – especially around parenting.
Listen to your intuition
A mother’s intuition is a superpower. It is so so important to listen to your own intuition and trust your own instincts. Your intuition is often a powerful source of wisdom and guidance, and it can help you make decisions and take actions that are best for you and your family.
So many of us struggle to listen to our intuition because of feelings of mum guilt. Mothers often feel like they are not doing enough or that they are failing in some way, and this can cause them to doubt themselves and their instincts.
Your intuition is based on your own experiences, values, and knowledge, and it can be the most valuable source of information and support. You know your children best. By listening to your intuition, you can make decisions that are authentic and true to yourself, without the outside noise of other people’s opinions and the false perfection facade of social media. You’ll be a happier and more confident mother for it – trust us.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish – it is essential for your own well-being and for your ability to be a good mother.
At Mindful Motherhood, we LOVE self-care. But we are mothers, and we know that the normal recommended self-care activities are just not realistic. Make time for activities that nourish and nourish you, such as exercise, hobbies, or time with friends. Filling your own cup will ensure you have enough mental capacity and energy to actively negate any feelings of mum guilt.
When mamas are able to prioritise their own well-being and take care of their own needs, they are better able to cope with the demands and stresses of motherhood.
The take away
Remember that being a mother is not the only thing that defines you. You are a complex and multifaceted person, and your worth is not determined by your role as a mother. Take time to explore your other interests and passions, and remind yourself of the other things that make you who you are.
Overcoming mum guilt is not easy, but it is possible. By acknowledging your feelings, setting realistic expectations, prioritizing self-care, seeking support, and remembering your own worth, you can learn to let go of the guilt and be a happy and fulfilled mother.